Alone
by Idakiller24
Summary: Gaz goes to visit Zim for the last time since he was captured. Trigger warning: suicide. Rated M for graphic content. All rights for Invader Zim belong to Jhonen Vasquez.


_**Warning:** Graphic content. Trigger warning: suicide. Read at your own risk._

* * *

Gaz walked down the long hallway of her father's labs with her hands in her pockets. She had told herself she would never make this walk, but she couldn't bring herself to stay away anymore, her curiosity got the better of her. She stopped in front of two metal doors and stood still as three different scanners passed over her face, eyeball, and hand. They had to take extra security precautions for this particular room. All three scanners glowed green, and with a successful 'Ding!' the sliding doors opened quickly.

Gaz stepped into the dimly lit, metal plated room that contained a single tall, glass container, about half the room's size; framed with sturdy metal piping. On the front of the case was a small speaker with a button, to speak with the creature inside the glass cage. Gaz frowned at the sight, it was a green figure sitting on the floor with it's back facing her. The figure was still, not moving an inch. Gaz began walking toward the cage, she stood at the edge looking down the the alien. It's antennae, differing in length, were flat on its head, and it's arms were wrapped itself with its chin on its knees. It was dressed in a long hospital gown and a metal backpack with three pink circles.

Gaz bit her lip and reached for the button on the speaker.

"Hey Zim, looking good." She smirked. The figure lifted its head but did not turn around.

"Come to mock me in my final hours Gaz-beast?"

"No, I just thought… You'd be lonely down here." She frowned.

"Lonely?" His antennae twitched, at least what was left of them. He chuckled. "An 'Invader' needs no one."

 _You're a useless, pathetic defective._

"Everyone needs somebody." Gaz leaned against the glass.

"Why are you here?" He asked, turning his head slightly.

"I heard about… you know."

"And?" He scowled at her. "Why do you care?"

"I don't." Gaz turned away, defensively.

 _Liar_. She thought, kicking herself. Zim turned back around, resting his head against his knees again.

 _No. Of course not. Nobody cares about me anymore._ Zim thought to himself. _They never did._ He took a heavy, labored breath. The humans were careless in putting him back together.

" _S-STOP PLEASE! AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Zim screamed bloody murder as they cut into his skin, he tried thrashing against his restraints but they had his arms and legs tied tight on the operating table.. "PLEEEAAAARRRRRGGGGH!"_

" _Subject is in stable condition. Now removing what looks like part of the digestive tract._

" _AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

" _Hold it still!"_

"Zim?" Gaz asked, yanking Zim back from his thoughts, he felt his stomach, the white hot pain was burned into his physical memories. A small chill ran up his spine. "You okay?"

"Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" He snapped angrily, not turning around. Gaz looked away.

 _Stupid._ She thought. _He's gonna die in a few hours. Why the hell would he be okay?_ Gaz shook her head. They had gotten all the information they needed from Zim's last _visit_ to the labs.

 _Sick bastards._ She shook her head again, lowering her head and running her fingers through her hair over and over. Taking a shaky breath she turned back to look at him.

"I know you're... I mean, I just wanted to tell you that..." He glanced in her direction, daring another word. Gaz shut her eyes and continued.

"I'm… gonna, well… I'll miss you." Zim's scowl darkened and his antennae twitched.

"You'll miss me?" He asked, his voice not wavering. Gaz looked him in the eyes and frowned. She knew he'd never return her feelings. Since he came to Earth she's bottled it up, never speaking a word to anyone. He was dying anyway, now was as good a time as ever. Plus, there was still a piece of her that just… hoped.

"Why?" He asked, lifting an eyebrow.

 _I love you._ "You're my friend." He dropped his gaze and leaned back on his wall again.

"No, I'm not your _friend_." He said coldly. Gaz looked away, fighting a tear.

"I've always thought of you as one of my closest friends." She smirked, trying to open up.

"I've always thought of you as a hateful, disgusting, human-filth creature." He spat, turning his head at her. She shut her eyes and bit her lip, tilting her head down.

 _What did you expect?_

"Zim…" She started.

"Leave." He said coldly. A twinge of pain sparked in her core, but she didn't move, he noticed. "I don't want you here Gaz-thing."

That was it. One last stab and she was done. She gave up, the tears running down her cheeks.

"Fine." She choked on her whisper, leaning off the wall. "Bye, Zim."

He didn't respond. He heard her quick footsteps leave his container and leave the room. She was trying to keep her sobs quiet, but the remains of his antennae picked it up, clear as day.

 _Stupid human._ He thought to himself, wrapping his arms around his knees against. Flinching in the pain. _I don't need her. I don't need anyone._

" _M-my Tallest?" Zim asked, he was panicking, but they were laughing. "My Tallest please! They're coming! T-they're gonna kill me!" Zim looked back at his doors, the Earth police hadn't broken through the upper level yet. He still had time before they found him._

" _About time!" Red piped up. "We've been waiting for you to die for years!" Zim froze, slowly turning back to his smug leaders._

" _What?" He asked, wide eyed._

" _You've been exiled from the Empire for years, Zim. You were never an Invader. You're a useless, pathetic, defective."_

" _M-my Tallests?" Zim pleaded. Suddenly Zim heard a heavy pounding on the laboratory doors. HIs spooch dropped._

 _They were here._

" _Oh I've_ got _to see this!" Tallest Purple said excitedly, reaching for his snacks. Zim began to stammer, his panic rising heavily._

" _Y-you can't do this!" He begged. The doors finally burst open, soldiers immediately poured into the laboratory "PLEASE! HELP ME!"_

 _His Tallests only responded by snacking, and enjoying the show._

" _MY TALLESTS!" He screamed as they grabbed him and began dragging him out of his own labs. He never stopped screaming, even when they put him under the knife._

Zim held his head in his shaking hands, and rocked back and forth, steady at first, but he kept getting faster and faster. The memories of his own pain, the smell of his own blood, the sound of them cutting into him, and removing parts of him for their own sick study.

Zim stood and began pacing in his container, rubbing his antennae and his arms, eyes glued shut.

 _No... no… no… no more…_

He slammed his fists against the walls of his glass cage and thrashed his arms around, fighting against his restraints.

" _S-s-STOP! No! Please! stOOOOPPPP! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He felt the cold steel of the knife cut his insides, slow and careful. He fought the restraints and thrashed his head, even slamming it on the table, desperate to at least knock himself out, just to escape the pain. But he couldn't escape. Not for hours. Doctors held his head against the table, ignoring his pleas for death, and continuing to cut him. They attached machines to him to keep him alive as they cut away his organs. None of them had any emotion on their faces, no feeling, no remorse. Only close concentration on how, exactly, he worked; how he stayed alive._

Zim smashed his fists against the glass over and over again, desperate to get away from the knife. Fresh tears ran down his face, _doctors wiped them away and rang them out into beakers, for further testing._

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" He whipped around, glaring at nobody. He was completely alone in his dark chambers. "GET AWAY!" He howled, knocking his head against the glass, squeezing his eyes shut.

 _Every time he opened his eyes he saw his own blood on their hands, his own organs, working tirelessly, even in the exposed air._

Zim slid down against the glass, sobbing uncontrollably, his fists pounding against the wall became weaker and weaker as he escaped his own mind.

"I'm not there..." He told himself between shaky breaths. ""It's over."

 _It'll all be over soon._ He remembered. He was no longer useful. He never was.

"Please…. Help me…" He leaned his head against the wall. His call would soon be answered as a soldier walked down the hallway, gun in hand.

* * *

Gaz sat in her bathroom, carving into her own skin, the fifth time since she heard Zim was captured.

 _He never loved you._ She thought, biting her lip against her pain. It was silent in the small room, save for the quiet drops of red in the sink. _Nobody ever did._

Gaz has always been alone. She knew that. Her mother died before she could know her, her father never paid the slightest amount of attention to her, her brother was thrown into an insane asylum. And now, Zim was going to die. She made one slice for each of them, opening her recent scars back up.

Zim was the only one who ever knew her, even if he never really meant to. Even when Dib was free, he was always too busy trying to stop him, or hunting some ghost.

Gaz has always been alone.

She never really knew when she fell for him, or why. Maybe it was just to get a rise out of Dib, maybe it was that he wasn't like everybody else. Maybe it was that his stupidity made her smile for the first time in years. But she fell for him in the end.

None of that mattered anymore, he was gone, she was alone again. She dropped her bloody razor in the sink and looked in the mirror. A thought crept into her mind again, and she looked at the bathtub. She stayed silent for a few minutes before picking up her razor again.

 _I wonder how long it'll take for Dad to find me._ She thought.

It took him 2 weeks.


End file.
